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Old Mar 16, 2020, 06:02 AM
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AzulOscuro AzulOscuro is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,837
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
There's one acquaintance I had made on another website who became very difficult in my mind. If I even presented an opposing thought to her own, or if I reflected back to her the obstacles that she herself had placed in her own way of being able to move forward in her life, she became extremely defensive and actually went kind of ballistic on me. She called me cruel and unkind, when I hadn't been cruel at all. I merely was reflecting back to her what I had observed in her, in an effort to actually help her to overcome the obstacles I saw. It was most maddening. We cut off our communications, and she then blocked me on that site, but I was offended because I was only trying to help. To me, it seemed she really didn't want any real help, not help that involved constructive criticism at least, and she didn't want anyone telling her anything about what they observe in her own behavior. That kind of person drives me insane... the kind of person who cannot self reflect AT ALL. And the kind who gets extremely defensive if you provide any sort of constructive criticism. I mean, at least be open to it and listen to it, even if you're feeling defensive at the time, is my thought. At least consider that perhaps you're in your own way of progress. I was really frustrated by this person. And she made me angry when she accused me of being cruel, when I'm not cruel in the least bit.
I had a similar experience but I was on the other side, the one who couldn’t see although to be more honest, I never was all closed but I had many doubts. I was confused. So, it took me a time to appreciate what this acquaintance, also known online, wanted me to see. I appreciate now that she had to play a uncomfortable role, only because she saw and she wanted to help me see.

Maybe, Hope, one day this acquaintance of you, it’s gonna appreciate what you tried to do.
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Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
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Have Hope