Society moves faster than ever these days. I'm current early 30s, and I've spent my entire life battling my mental health. I wasn't officially diagnosed with PTSD until I was 27. I was never able to go to college. I never held a job for more than a year. I've never had a relationship, and friendships don't last.


More and more, I feel left behind. I feel like the leftover garbage of society. I try not to feel this way, but it's hard not to when the western world is structured for standardization. Prepared for college. Go to college. Get a career. Buy a house. Build equity. Save for retirement. Get married. Have kids. Et cetera.


What of those who don't fit? Many of us don't, and it's like we're tossed the leftovers from their tables. Like we're fed the scraps of their success in a empty, token gesture of appeasement. I am tired of being told that I should feel happy with my situation. Happy? Barely making enough to support myself? Treated like I'm somehow subhuman?


I feel inadequate because modern society deems that I am. How can I keep up? How can I stay competitive? Or will be a single, renting, old man, who drops dead at 80 while on the clock? What hope is there? These are legitimate questions that I ask myself. I want to get married. I want to own a home. I want to save for retirement. I want stability and consistency. But no matter how hard I work, I'm always too far behind.