Hi Binbonni.

I am so very, very sorry that you are suffering this boredom, fatigue, anger and frustration and that you are unable to feel other things.

The human brain is so mysterious. Depression seems to get the brain stuck in a way of looking at things from the point of view of "could be better, but isn't better." And depression also seems to prevent the brain from being able to see the same things from the point of view of "could be worse, but isn't worse."

It seems as though that seeing things only from the point of view of "could be better, but isn't better" can hardly generate feelings of being lucky or feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Seems it can only generate feelings and moods of anger, disappointment, aggravation, frustration and sadness.

People who are not afflicted with depression seem able to move freely between "could be better but isn't better" and "could be worse but isn't worse" attitudes. But depression severely restricts the range of emotions and moods a person can experience. Depression is such a cruel and brutal illness.

There are medical treatments for depression and therapy. Hopefully you will find something that helps you. It is heartbreaking that you cannot experience the full range of human emotions. I was in this situation for so many, many years. My heart goes out to you! -- Yao Wen