BcCyclist I do get what your saying. My first attempt was a miraculous intervention too. I was sitting at the desk writing notes ( those turned out to be meaningless scribbles) when a friend called. I automatically picked up the phone. Knew that was a mistake but thought I had convinced her everything was fine. ( she said I sounded like a 78 record played on 33---yeah I'm old) Next ting I knew she and the cops were there. I passed out. Woke up in ICU two days later. If she hadn't called I wouldn't be here. As it was it was touch and go. I'm not religious but I do think fate intervened.