Hey all!

Ok, so to @Fuzzybear I just dug up my DBT papers. Haven't had time to really look over them again, but what I think was the last page I received was about requiring a validating environment, with people who validate your feelings and encourage you in your quest for self improvement but are patient etc, etc... As I was saying yesterday, it's been a little difficult with hubby. I will say that more recently though as I was finally able to find this online now about the "love languages", I've been able to pick a few that I really need and am lacking and he has seemingly been trying a little. So I count my blessings. But yes, it's still difficult in those moments where he thinks I'm overreacting and/or that I shouldn't be feeling what I'm feeling but feeling what he's feeling (you know, because he's always right of course. *rolls eyes)...but yesterday he started to do this about something and then continued to say something about if he were in charge he could end world hunger or some ridiculously overconfident statement. He WAS exaggerating in fact though, and I totally called him out on it saying "now you're REALLY being ridiculous!...about all of it!" And he laughed...so I guess that just means he likes to push my buttons sometimes, but I laughed too. Sometimes you just gotta have a sense of humor about things...take advantage of those moments to relax. Oh, but the other point I was getting to was that I feel like I'm also getting better at standing up for myself...

but that could very much be a mood thing. When I was depressed, I was too tired to argue or fight back, nor could I even think of what I could possibly even say to get through to his "always has an answer for everything" mind...you have to be really clever when you want to talk to him. It's not necessarily a bad thing or not bad all of the time. He's really helped improve me in many ways, but it's difficult when he seems to get away with his, at times, ridiculous thinking making most days a challenge. Sigh! Ok, that was another long answer to your question. Moving on!

@Gabyunbound (and everyone) Yay kitties!! <3 But in all seriousness, I see your point. I hear you. Thing of it is, and maybe I wasn't clear about this before, but I did take one of those hours-long psych assessments in addition to many months, maybe even a year of seeing the NPdoc and then the actual Pdoc. So, I feel like I have a pretty accurate diagnosis...NOW...but this took me a lot of asking all of you questions and really discovering what all these dxs actually mean! Like, I didn't accept the diagnoses at the time, because I didn't quite understand them. I feel like I'm now just seeking ways to deal with my issues and I'm curious about my past circumstances so that I don't repeat behaviors again, IF in fact, it was me or my issues that resulted in not so pleasant results. I think it's a little bit of both my issues as well as the issues of the other people I was trying to communicate with.

I will say that mindfullness and being self-aware (which my former therapist actually recognized that I am in fact quite good at) as well as recognizing and understanding my emotions and imagining different scenarios based on how I act on those feelings (something I was not so good at for the longest time) is a very important thing for me...but I'm not sure that's all or any of what I learned in my DBT experience. I mean, sure there was some, but I had already learned a lot from a book or two and lots and lots of curious searches on the internet/reading folks' experiences on here and other forums.

So, my final point to wrap ALL of this up is that I'm not trying to be argumentative or troublesome ever, nor am I saying that seeing another pdoc and/or therapist isn't a possiblity for me, but I have done pretty much everything I can now except maintenance...and so far, I feel like I'm getting sooo much help just from these forums and my GP is there as a professional to keep track of my entire wellbeing and not just prescribing medicines to patch a problem. His whole philosophy is to treat the whole person, so while he's not an expert in psychology for example, he's got a pretty good understanding and knows a lot of natural remedies for these things to try before mental physicians need to be added. I hope this makes sense!