My T cancelled our appointment tomorrow (Wednesday) as he has extra meetings at work. He is the head professor of social work and psychopharmacology at a local university so has a lot of extra meetings regarding coronavirus. He has kindly offered to see me Saturday as he knows I’m struggling. So far I am still seeing my pdoc on Thursday. I really need to see him as we are going to trial Ritalin to help me deal with Fibromyalgia cognitive issues.

I dragged myself to university today. Mainly to show attendance as I missed last week. It made me feel much sicker (Fibromyalgia) which is incredibly discouraging. Australia has yet to be hit with the full brunt of the virus so schools are still open. Still, everything has a surreal quality to it. People are freaking out as we are expecting things to worsen, especially as we head into our usual flu season. Social distancing is beginning to be implemented. I miss hugging my family.

What makes this weirder is having strong SI while the pandemic spreads. I worry for everyone else but not myself. With the slither of hope I have left for myself I do positive things like meditation and eating well. Mostly I rest ... and wait. My body feels so awful but I struggle to sleep, to find escape in sleep. It is relentless. I am exhausted. There are moments when I truly feel I am at the edge of losing my sanity. It’s scary.

I truly wish you all peace, health, and safety during these crazy times.