Wander, bluebicycle, and everyone here, I send you all hugs. This pandemic is a HUGE stressor on top of so many other stressors in life. It fuels mood episode fires in some of us. It is also so crap*y that many who have been doing fairly well have been (or might be) affected negatively because of all this. I hope that everyone can find as much support as possible during this trying time. Obviously, if people need to step away I understand, but only if stepping away is the best move. I worry that if people step away and find themselves with insufficient support because of it, that that will be detrimental. I know from my past experiences, it is good to allow yourself to change your mind about various things in life. For example, one can step away and come back literally hours later. One can refuse an appointment for various reasons, and then call to say they've changed their mind. One must reach out and say "I need help". It is crucial.

For some reason I am extremely nervous about the video session I'm supposed to have with my therapist today. It's the first of that kind that I've ever had. I really like and trust my therapist, so it does seem odd to me that I'm nervous. I guess part of the anxiety stems from it just being such a different approach. It even seems so different, to me, than a phone session. One could call me an old fogy type not being used to video chat, and stuff. Well, I guess I am. I will do it at 2 pm. I'm sure it won't be nearly as painful as I think. I will tell her about this nervousness, but will refuse any suggestion to switch to phone only.

Change is very tough for me, and I know it is for most everyone, including many people even without a mental health issue. Suddenly many worries have started accumulating for me. Will my husband have his job in X years? Or months? If/when he loses it, we would need to take drastic action ASAP. That can often be the figurative tidal wave I've talked about in other threads. Not to say it would totally take me, but that it could be a very tough battle to swim and then find peaceful waters.