Hey guys and girls! Thanks in advance for reading and responding and I’ll try to keep it concise

I am a 25 year old female and I have sorta on and off been dating a 26 year old man with paranoid schizophrenia.

I met him at work and was slightly freaked out when he started telling me about his delusions, which involves thinking he was a vampire, but I decided to listen and read up on schizophrenia instead of getting scared away. He then about two days later told me to Google search his name, which I did, and the first thing that popped up was a news article about him stabbing his mom at a shopping centre when he was eighteen (she survived but suffered some injuries). Still, instead of judging and running in the other direction, I tried to understand and listened when he described experiencing a psychotic episode at that time.

Fast forward one year, we have been on and off again friends with benefits. There have been countless insults thrown at me, but he has never been violent and I’ve stuck by his side (I’m not interested in dating right now because I want to focus on school etc. and didn’t think I was losing anything).

Today, his insults were more scathing than normal. I don’t look perfect (I have a lot of very pigmented acne scars for example) but I think I’m a pretty girl and he himself has told me that I am beautiful many times in the past. Today, he decided to tell me that I was “ugly” and “very ugly” and it hurts. He called me ugly once before and because of that it makes me think that he believes it and is not just saying it purely out of anger. Furthermore, he was never good at making me feel pretty (unlike my ex boyfriend).

How do I stop myself from being hurt right now? And am I am idiot for ever sticking my nose into his life?