In the summer of 2018, I was hospitalized.
It changed me, gave me severe anxiety though I'd never experienced it at an abnormal level. It took me until just a few months ago to really start understanding how much it affected me.
The simplest explanation is looking at attachment styles, prior to this, for the most part, I fit into the dismissive-avoidant. But after on top of moving back in with my parents as an adult. I was suddenly very anxious, felt more submissive, and I fit more the unorganized/fearful type. Getting back to normal is being able to have control over my emotions and not so anxious and easily affected about so many things like being afraid of being abandoned and the loss of relationships. Now, these things I don't have control over send me into a panic, rather than just focusing on the things I can control and my own independence and can't tell or even believe myself when I say I'm fine. While I never thought extremely high of myself my self-esteem is shot. I'm not sure how to move forward, and hate that all I can find is giving myself time. I'm trying to convince myself to go back to therapy but I notice just how much my boundaries have changed and feel even less safe because of this.