I was always a little different as a kid. I was never a "cuddly" baby, I distanced myself from my parents after my sister was born, and I was reading by the time I was four. Throughout elementary school I had motor skills and coordination issues, and I didn't grasp social concepts at all.

I think if I had acted up, if my parents couldn't handle me so exceedingly well, I would have been diagnosed autistic or something similar.

While I wasn't diagnosed with anything like autism, I WAS diagnosed with depression. I don't know when, but it's always been there.

As long as I can remember I've had a strange recurring symptom of depression. Through the years I've been able to describe it a little better.

It's a momentary, overwhelming sadness that feels like a mixture of regret, nostalgia, and homesickness. In these moments I find it hard to speak, and my movements are slow. I've never met anyone else who has experienced this. It doesn't come about by any thought process, it's completely random, and during it, I concentrate on what I'm feeling so I can try to describe it.

It still comes about every once in a while, though I'm quite content most of the time.