Hello, thank you

Honestly not really fine... this time I find it hard to heal. I learnt the lesson but I struggle with the way the "separation" with this person happened -we were never really together... it may sound absurb that i'm so emotionally involved but i had feelings and he had some too. If he hasn't i would have never went this crazy i think
One never knows in this life, but it's important to try if we feel like it and I really didn't. I behaved non-sense
Now it's of course too late for everything but i can't let it go in my mind

But what I find more disturbing is the idea that he lost a lot of time and maybe will go through pain and disappointment because of this and because I had feelings for him and also the older person, I can't stand it well. I didn't, wouldn't and won't control him somehow because we are not in touch anymore anyhow, but i try to control it in my mind like imagine the time could go backwards til the day i met him as i grown woman i can only advise to don't indulge in useless mental sh*it and moans but "still I cling" (quote)
I hope he will be well