Thank you both for posting. I'm doing so awful. My arm got worse. Through Medicaid we have attendants who comes by. But I let the attendant go shopping because doing the hands-on care of my S.O. is just too hard.

Going to WalMart or Sam's is my main recreation. I like to go and walk around the stores. So I would use the attendant as a sitter, while I went to the store. But my S.O. is sicker and harder to care for. The attendants seem to dread having to move him or lift him. They don't seem to have any kitchen skills either. So I stay with him and do everything that's hard. I bring him to the bathroom. I move him from the wheelchair to the toilet. I shower him. I give the incontinence care. He can barely stand for a few seconds. He can be tough to get cooperation from. So I let them get away with half-doing easy stuff. They are a lot younger than I am. I sent one to the laundromat yesterday. She spent 5 hours doing who-knows-what. She takes off on an errand and uses up all her time staying out of the apartment where I'm doing the hard work gets done. I'm being made a fool of. They don't even get him shaved with the electric shaver, unless I specifically request that. I tried making a list for them to refer to. It gets ignored.

Now I've gotten very depressed and I'm not doing the dishes after dinner. I hate for one of them to get here and find the place not picked up. It embarrasses me. It's a very small apartment. We can't be in here all 3 of us. My plan was to go off and be out of the apt, while someone was here. But they seem to hate being left here in a caregiving role. He's courteous to them. But to get him up from his chair is heavy lifting. That's why I'm so sore.

I'm rattling away, probably making no sense. Right now I really need a mental health support worker to help me face things I've neglected - like piles of unooened mail and a bedroom that is so cluttered it's unuseable. I've developed a mental block against tackling the disorder. It's embarrassing.

I have to put him to bed now.