I don't like the unknown. My anxiety has been higher. I was triggered by my t during the session. I didn't say much, but I was suicidal in the office right therein front of him.

Now about 10 hours later, my thoughts need to come out. I wasn't my normal self at work. And I'm not my normal now. I'm worried that this virus is going to affect my mental health and send me to a psych ward.

In the session, I was reminded of a past relationship that ended badly. I was 20 mins from home, he had his mother, granted he was an adult, break up with me. After I cried as I drove off. And when I stopped about a half mile from his house a police officer pulled up behind me and asked if I was okay. I don't remember what I said.

I then drove off a few minutes after he did and drove to where my sister worked, before going back home. I had to call into work and put my job in jeopardy, as it was within a half hour to starting. I went to the ER. I was suicidal even when the police officer knocked on my window..

When that memory came up, another one followed of a prior t who sent me to the ER. I've had too many hospitalizations. My anxiety was higher before the session started. Hours later, it's still high. I took a med but it didn't do much. As there is still chest pain.

Why do I keep hiding things from t. Why am I so anxious. Then at work, my hours are up in the air. I will talk with my manager and see what happens. Like I said I don't like the unknown.

I'm scared about this virus, but not because of the virus. It's more about what the virus is doing to the world. We are living in panic. It's not good for anyone.

And it's more unknown as to what will happen.