I was having a conversation with my sister A today about how our family isn't close. She said I shouldn't let it bother me. She said I didn't talk to anyone in my twenties, thirties and forties. Why should I expect them to talk to me know. I tried to explain that I reached out when I could but I was pretty busy. Plus, no one reached out to me either. Next thing I know, my sister A is crying and angry and going on about how I hurt her. About how everyone hurt her. I tried to be compassionate but she was attacking me and I felt hurt by her words.

Now I am depressed with the blinds closed and drinking til I'm numb. I don't want to feel anything. I think I want to forget about my family. They're just not worth it. They don't care about me, not even A, and they will never care about me.