You are welcome (((Kacknyne))), that is what we are here for, we share what we have learned in our own efforts to get help.

YES!! I totally agree with how a session can be a lot of venting only to leave not feeling like anything got fixed or resolved. It's important to remember though that part of your healing comes from what you slowly learn from your venting. I don't think you have ever had a chance to vent like this, and you may have just stuffed a lot of your history not realizing you were engaging in a pattern that was going to put you in more situations that confused you even more.

The truth is you can't tame it until you name it and see the pattern you grabbed onto that kept you going from one hurt dysfunctional situation to the next.

I wanted to focus on the now and fix it, then as time went on I learned how the now had a lot to do with my past. That is the challenge that presents with what is called complex ptsd. This doesn't mean you are a bad person either, it often means you have been hurt in ways you did not realize were teaching you to develop survival techniques that tend to predespose you for similar hurts. Often, in many instances, you did the best you could considering the dysfunction taking place you had no way of controlling.

I can't say enough the incredible importance of being PATIENT with yourself and the healing you are finally going to be doing. It's not anything you can fix overnight.

You are welcome to come and post anytime. Often more questions come as you dig into it all. That's normal so again, patience is something you will need to learn to have with yourself and all of this.