I've been out of an abusive relationship now for about a month and a half now...

I've been back and forth between a relationship with him.
He slapped me a few times, sexually assaulted me and often called me degrading names.

The cycle usually went, he'd hurt me, I'd try to stand up for myself and tell him I didn't want to be hurt, he'd act like he cared, he'd stop contact with me, I'd come running back and I'd allow him to hurt me again (even though I told him the last time that I didn't want to be hurt that way)

Well, the cycle began again, but this time... I decided to not go back to him. I decided that now I would finally, finally leave him for good.

But now he's started texting me, basically asking for sex and saying that we're still together, but I told him that I'm done.
He's been trying to make me feel bad for my decision, saying ,

"Oh, so I guess I'm not worth trying to work it out with, huh?"
"I guess you think you're too good for me now?"
"I guess I never even meant anything to you then?"

It hurts,... this is what he's done every time I've tried to leave before... or whenever I've tried to stand up for myself. He makes me question my love for him and makes me feel like I have to "prove" my love for him...

I still love him, I really do, but I will not let myself be hurt by him anymore.
For the first time in I don't know how long, Ive felt confident of myself and I feel good... I don't want him to take that away from me..

I don't know how to start over...
I don't know how to pick up the pieces and keep going...
My heart hurts so much and even though I don't want to be with him, I still love him and I am kinda scared of a future without someone to love me back