You know what lovethesun, this is a good question and worthy of getting advice in how to handle. I believe you when you say your daughter doesn't use her abilities to hold over others. She will need to learn how even though she doesn't do that and is supportive to her friends, often she may run into an individual who really feels threatened by her talents and successes and may look for ways to take from that. It's important that she understand how this is something that happens and that it's something all individuals who excel in any way will often deal with.

There are times we develop friendships and even though we are nice and care about our friends, there can be jealousies in others if we happen to do better at something than they do. IF this jealous individual begins to practice toxic ways of pulling others away like this, and other friends agree to accept her pull, then it may mean these friends may be a little bit jealous too. And sometimes, the other friends don't realize what is actually happening too. Younger individuals tend to just like to hang out and have fun and they don't really know what to do in a situation like this. Sometimes they can get pulled away like this because the person choosing to practice this behavior has a way of being on the charming side that they use as bait to pull others to them as a conquest against someone they are jealous of.

This is an IMPORTANT life lesson because when you want to do well and you are achieving, you have to realize that there will be others that will try to break your confidence. What it means is more about their own level of confidence that is weak, not yours. This is what all the stories your daughter has seen is showing too. It's in Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Wizard of Oz, Cinderella and many other fairy tales. It is telling us over and over again how when a person manages to stand out in some positive way, there is always going to be those who feel threatened by it. And this is one of the things they do. And it often does happen to "a nice person" too. It often happens to a person that has done nothing wrong and doesn't deserve it.

You need to explain to your daughter that understanding this is important because this challenge can happen throughout her life in different relationships. This challenge can happen even with a boyfriend down the road who has "jealousy" problems and may take it out on her. Truth is, they are not angry at you, but themselves and how they struggle to feel good about themselves. What she is experiencing is showing how in her little group of friends THIS kind of individual is present.

She will want to know "yeah but what to I do about it?". The answer is "be aware, be a nice person and continue to focus on being nice and doing well for herself". Tell, her, it's important to understand how this is the other person's problem and that she can't fix that FOR that other person, all she can do is be nice, and keep working on her own achievements and encourage others to do the same.

Also, explain to her that often toxic people like this look to single out and take from and get their target alone. Some of this is reflecting how THAT OTHER PERSON feels alone and is trying to get rid of it by using sneaky ways to put their own feelings on the person they feel threatened by. This is also shown in all these fairy tales too.

I call this kind of person a "Polly Mad Marcher". Polly Mad Marcher tends to NEED to interact in unhealthy ways, they tend to interact with POLLY, POLLY, POLLY and IF they don't get that then they tend to practice "THIS PERSON IS BAD, THIS PERSON IS A NARCISSIST, THIS PERSON HAS PROBLEMS" when in REALITY what they are REALLY talking about is in fact THEMSELVES.

What your daughter needs to realize is WHO is the one REALLY breaking up the group of friends. The person behaving this way tends to always be a "Polly Mad Marcher". And they always like to blame everyone else too.
Polly Mad Marchers like to feel they are special, and even have special powers too. A Polly Mad Marcher will choose to step over others in disrespectful ways and go right to the person they feel has the most power. A Polly Madmarcher will break the rules yet USE the rules when it suits THEM. A Polly Mad Marcher will tend to get upset anytime people listen to any other opinions than their own. Often, a Polly Mad Marcher will set up a sandbox of her own and will be ok as long as anyone that shares that sand box goes along with HER need to OWN that sandbox. A Polly Mad Marcher will sooth anyone that plays HER way in HER sandbox. So what happens is a lot of times people who play in HER sandbox, don't realize they are engaging a Polly Mad Marcher. It's important your daughter see this because this is a tactic this other girl is using with her friends too. What this friend is doing is trying to pull your daughter's friends into her own sandbox. And her friends don't realize this.

It's important that you explain to your daughter that experiencing "confused feelings" like this, usually means a Polly Mad Marcher has entered the picture or her group of friends. It's important for her to learn this because she needs to recognize the red flags and this can happen with friends and boyfriends who try to isolate her by pulling her into his private sandbox so he can control her. Polly Mad Marchers can be both a male or a female.

You can use what I have shared here with you and you can call this kind of individual a "Polly Mad Marcher" too.

I had to deal with this challenge with my own daughter too. She tended to run into this challenge as well. My daughter tended to stand out in horse riding competitions. There tend to be a lot of this kind of toxic behaviors in that horse show competitive world. Even adults engaged in it too. Learning to see the red flags early can help a lot when it comes to handling it in so many different life situations.