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Originally Posted by iPhone
I haven't posted here in awhile but I'm really in need of some support so I thought I'd give it a try. For the past 18 months I had been living in a halfway house and I made a close friend there who has a similar history to mine. We became very close to her to the point where I thought of her as a second mother.
I had warned her a few months back that an apartment had called me and said they would have a vacancy soon. She didn't want me to leave, citing that I had recently been hospitalized and still needed the support of the halfway house. Nonetheless I thought about and decided to move anyway, which I did at the end of February.
When I first moved out we still talked but gradually it became less and less. On Monday she sent me a text basically saying that I could text or call anytime, but that its her choice if she will answer or not. I told her I respected that, but ever since she's been ignoring any texts or calls. I've tried to decrease the frequency of my attempts and let her come to me, but it's been hard.
I really miss her and am very worried about losing the friendship. She has a ton of attachment issues as do I, and I know she's cut people out of her life before. If anyone can give advice or support, is greatly appreciated.
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Hi iPhone,
Sorry that you’re going through something like this, I understand how much it hurts to drift apart from someone who is very close to you.
First of all, respect to you for respecting your friend’s decision. It is hard, but by respecting her you have shown that you care.
But since the situation has reached this point, and you are worried that she will cut you out of her life completely, I think that it may be time to be completely honest with her. Tell her your concerns and exactly how you feel, that you really treasure her as a friend and hate to see one another drifting apart.
It will probably be terrifying because what if she actually goes through with what you’re fearing? The truth is, no one can guarantee anything. I truly hope that you friend recognises that you only did what you thought was best for yourself and puts this behind the both of you. However, there is the chance that she might not. Unfortunately, that is the way that things are. It may feel unfair that you have to be the one taking this step, but rather do it now then regretting not doing it years later. It may be daunting, but keep a clear head, articulate what you feel and make that clear to her.
I wish you the best of luck for now and for the future
-Z