(((((((((bbear))))))))))))

Seeing MD was fine *whew*- I truly love her and her ability to be so passionate and caring about everything. I wrote everything down for her knowing i'd forget everything or be censored so she did ask to see the SI. She seems to not have the same restraints that other dr's have... when she saw the cuts, she grabbed my arm toward her. On anyone else, this would have triggered the system - but she just cracks me up! I can't explain it.

She is starting me on Lexapro (10mg a day) for 3 months in conjunction with 5HTP (100mg/day) and AdreCor and ExcitaPlus, and the Tyrosine spray for my dopamine levels. I forgot to ask her about the taurine and theanine I take. I think she wants me to continue... She also said that when I go to the dentist she'll prescribe me an anti-anxiety so i can get through it.

The lab tech did see my arm when she took my blood pressure (though I tried hard to get her to not see) but didn't say anything. Proir to that she praised me on how much better I am doing with blood draws (no more crying and shaking).

MD told me the office is moving and that she will actually only spend 2 days there and 2 days at the clinic where my PsyD is at "and so we can all sit together and support you!!" ...um...yiipes? that is still being processed through the system - you know how that goes... brings up a good deal of stress, fear, panic... old tapes being played. so i am writing down affermations that i am ok with change and that i can accept this process. accepting that people care about me, working to understand/acknowledge that it is a good thing.
takes time - i am glad i have 1.5 months prior knowledge oh she also is looking into having me also work with a DID/MPD specialist that she knows so that I have a lot of support in all aspects of my life. Ironically, I didn't bring that up to her, but i had been thinking the same thing since my PsyD doesn't know a thing about DID/MPD.

Wow - i'm spinning.... a lot of info to process in a short time. On one hand it is pretty scary to think about/work with so many dr's (since that's always been a big phobia of mine) and on the other hand i've never trusted any one as much as these two ladies.

It feels paradoxical to have such conflicting emotions all in me at once. Almost overwhelming. *breathing*.
Long post - sorry!