Thank you Winter,

im sorry you had to experience this for real.

i... i know its crazy, but sometimes i think id like to see what it feels like to have real hallucinations. i only had a couple experiences with auditory and it was weird, so thats why this time, even though i could "feel" that the baby crying was real i couldnt completely trust myself. and im still wondering cause i havent heard him since yesterday night and i find it weird, but im 99,9% positive the baby is real. i've talked with the mom so its not possible i made that up too.

im in my flat… i bought it last year so i've been living here since jan 2019, but i still dont consider this place home. i call it my flat but not my home. im still torn as to where i feel home is. i think i have no home anymore. for the whole year i've been at my parents every single weekend, but that is not my home either…
sorry, why am i talking about this?
why did you ask if its new? the flat? yes, its real.

that the baby is real is worse than the baby being an hallucination because hallucinations can be controlled, real babies and their cries can not.

ive just bought online headphones that cancel sounds, they should get here on tuesday, i hope they work.

my problem at the flat is the same as yours but its too much work to move the big closet and do something to the wall. even though i so much wish we could do that. "we"??? i meant "i".

thank you so much for talking to me Winter, you have helped me so much.

ive also started taking haldol on higher dosage and im more relaxed…

i like talking with you Winter if you feel like talking some more im here…
takecare