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Old Mar 21, 2020, 06:20 AM
fern46 fern46 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Oh man, Just a horrible day yesterday. Still dealing with this URI and just not feeling physically well at all. It's just weird. Have had a headache for, like, a week. I never get headaches. I never get sick. It's bizarre how rotten I feel. No fever, no difficulty breathing, so, I just don't think it's a COVID situation. But I will pay attention, as anything is possible, of course.

Still, forced myself out of the house for a few minutes. Was nearly 70 F here yesterday and very sunny. Just gorgeous. Cherry blossoms are still out here, so that was cheerful.

And yet, the entire thing was completely ruined by the fact that I felt I was being followed and surveiled by mutiple people the entire brief and very miserable trip. Been through this before. I have a PhD in it, as a matter of fact. So very disappointing to be dealing with this again.

Been quite psychotic on and off, mostly on, I would suggest, for weeks, as most of you know. I'm used to it, I guess. But I don't enjoy it, that's for sure.

So, maybe tomorrow will be better. I sure hope so. Pdoc is totally aware. If things don't turn around pretty soon, we'll have to make another move. Maybe Clozaril. Not really sure. Already been on Risperdal, Zyprexa, Abilify, Seroquel, Thorazine, and Geodon, the last, very briefly. I suppose there are one or two other atypicals to possibly try, but really, I've been on so many of them, it seems a bit like beating a dead horse. But we shall see.

Okay, that's my rant. Sorry. Sending peace and love to all. I am so grateful for all of you!!!! I could not do this without all of you!!!
I'm so sorry this continues for you. It must feel incredibly draining to be on high alert for so long. Have you ever explored the theme of your psychosis in therapy? I know paranoia is fairly common, but your flair of it seems pretty specific and perhaps related to the events you've mentioned from your past. I wonder if something like EMDR might help you to process the experiences and allow your brain to stop looping through the same trauma over and over.

I hold onto hope for you bpcyclist. Maybe today will be a better day and you can relax for a bit.
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Wild Coyote