@Hugh Mungus, I understand your sentiments and feelings around this. It's so hard not to judge someone for a checkered past, especially when it conflicts with our own value system. If she truly has changed and these events were four years ago and longer, perhaps it's OK for you to still hold the feelings you do have about her past, but not judge her now for who she is now? Is it possible to carry both types of feelings at the same time? It's hard to just do an about face or 180 degree turn on your own feelings, and like you said, it's been very difficult to see past it. So what if you honored your true feelings about her past, accepted them, but also view her as being a different person now? Someone who may have learned some lessons through what she did and who may have changed for the better? And maybe you can just love her for who she is now, a changed person?