Hi Quinx,

I wish I knew what to say that would help you, but sadly I am at a loss. I can certainly empathize with what you are going through. It must be really stressful and difficult. When I was unable to afford therapy, I was greatly helped by reading self-help books by cognitive behavioral therapists. I found many of these books in libraries and low cost used book stores. Wish I had some better ideas. Hopefully others here will have more helpful advice than mine. You deserve to get the help you need.

I do want to thank you for posting what you did. It helps me and will help so many people from around the world who use these Forums to feel less isolated and alone with their own personal anguish and pain. And that is such a great gift to give others. That alone makes you a heroic person in my eyes. And that fact that you are enduring such uncertainly and suffering in your own life also makes you heroic to my way of thinking. It takes a lot of moral courage to endure the things you are enduring. I think you are a person of great substance and moral stature because of it and I can only look up to you. Those who have never endured what you described can never understand what heroism it takes to endure such things.

I wish you only good things and want to thank you again for what you posted here! -- Yao Wen