You are dealing with so much. I think your feelings are completely understandable and I share many of the same thoughts and feelings that you mentioned.

I wish I knew what to say that would help, but sadly I lack sufficient knowledge, experience and insight.

Like you, I have had the experience of feeling worse after a meeting with a therapist.

I do hope things somehow improve for you. I really admire your strength of character in dealing with so many difficult things. I can only look up to you for that. I wish you only good things, liz.