I don't understand what's going on. I haven't been feeling well mentally, emotionally, but for the second time this week I've awoken at ˜4am energised and ready to go. This morning I got up, told my son to go to sleep (he had been up chatting with friend on the other side of the world), made myself a cup of tea, and started painting. Yesterday I was experiencing SI even while painting. I feel like a failure, but still creative. Those things don't normally go together for me. It's been going on like this for about a week now, I think. I wonder if this is a mixed episode. I wish I could just look at my eyes in the mirror to determine what was happening with my brain.