Quote:
Originally Posted by Daonnachd
I don't understand what's going on. I haven't been feeling well mentally, emotionally, but for the second time this week I've awoken at ˜4am energised and ready to go. This morning I got up, told my son to go to sleep (he had been up chatting with friend on the other side of the world), made myself a cup of tea, and started painting. Yesterday I was experiencing SI even while painting. I feel like a failure, but still creative. Those things don't normally go together for me. It's been going on like this for about a week now, I think. I wonder if this is a mixed episode. I wish I could just look at my eyes in the mirror to determine what was happening with my brain.
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Sorry to hear that, Daonnachd. I've been feeling pretty bad too lately with very negative thoughts -- although I do not have any "up" features to my depression.
I agree that it sounds like you're mixed.
Is there anything you can do to stop or mitigate these symptoms? Ignoring mania, sometimes people are incredibly impulsive when mixed. That's why it's so dangerous.
Do you not respond to any meds? Not Seroquel, Zyprexa, Clozapine? Those are pretty heavy hitters and usually work well for people. I know you do ECT, but I'm just wondering if you could go on one of those meds temporarily to help combat the symptoms since you can't do ECT right now. (I'm aware that Seroquel, Zyprexa, and Clozapine are likely to cause weight gain and other health problems, but if you're only using them for a short period of time, you may be okay in that respect.)