Okay... this is my attempt to respond to people's posts (which means I've got to really read them so bear with me please!)

((((((((((KJ)))))))))))))) You are helpful and good with words.
((((((((dalila)))))))))))) thank you... this is the second? time I tried to write this post out... at least now it makes some sense instead of being a mess!
((((((pachyderm))))))) I hope I find a nice guy too... all I've found are weird control freaks. (sigh) Ah well. thanks.
((((((((Lyn))))))))))) unlearning the lies is so hard... thank you for being supportive of me!
((((((Rapunzel))))))))) thank you for understanding!
((((((mckell13))))))))) Self-loathing is definetely a problem for me... sigh. thanks.
(((((((((KD)))))))))) I just hope there is a learning experience in all of this somewhere... preferably a postive one.