Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Sadly sometimes therapy might not be a solution for particular issues or particular people. Or particular type of therapy.
There might be other things that could do more good than therapy. I tried therapy for bereavement twice (two different losses) and I received no help, not because therapist was bad. She wasn’t. She was very very helpful for other concerns. Just not for this.
I don’t know if it was wrong therapist for grief issue or just I needed something else at the moment but I know I was suffering and wasted time in therapy. I ended up buying few books ( one advised by my therapist) and I found some minor improvement in my grief, I stopped seeing a therapist because it wasn’t useful.
I don’t know if I am explaining myself well but if one sees many therapists for years and nothing good comes out of it (in addition person maybe gets repeatedly hurt by therapists) yes it could be that all therapists don’t know what they doing (many dont).
But I think it could also be that person needs different types of therapy or maybe something else instead, no therapy at all. Therapy can’t be solution to everything especially if it’s not helping and not improving anything.
Maybe one would do better with peer support, online support, books, meds, group therapy, change in life style etc etc
Just a thought
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Very well said. I had the opposite situation, where my therapist was excellent with the bereavement issue I came to therapy for, but actively damaging when it came to other issues I had, namely feelings that people mostly ignore me and that I'm defective and not worth caring about.
I asked for a hug after months of realising therapy had stalled because my need for one had become all-consuming. I'm not built to stay in situations that aren't working, and I knew therapy wasn't working anymore. He said no hugs, I said "I quit and therapy isn't working for me any longer," I asked for a final session a few days later, he said no and we no longer worked together. After sharing my personal life for a year, his ability to effectively dump me made my head spin.
One thing that was empowering was writing a blog post detailing how he ended things, after he deleted my negative review on his Google page. His attempt to shut me up means my post is forever attached to his name. Realising that I didn't have to just sit and be a victim, that I had a degree of power over his business reputation, helped immensely in working through the hurt. I think people who go to therapy often feel so vulnerable they forget they still have power.
The second was making the decision that my feelings are now reserved for those that I have non-business relationships with. Perhaps I can do this because I've never believed therapy is THE ONLY way to heal. I don't get the attentiveness with my friends that I got with my therapist, but I'm not always second guessing whether someone actually likes me either.
When I felt down earlier this year, I immediately went to the doctor and got antidepressants, but kept my feelings to myself. My doctor actually seemed baffled by my reluctance to go into my emotions.
In an attempt to connect, he put his hand on my arm, smiled at me, and said "I'm a doctor, and I like to see my patients get better."
It was vindication, in a way. Touch is connection: it doesn't always need to be agonised over or creepy or pathologised.
I think if someone is bouncing from therapist to therapist with no progress, they should try other things. Like the saying goes:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.