That's very true. He does hit almost all of the BPD criteria as far as I've experienced from the threats of self harm to the emotional dysregulation. I did fall into the dysfunctional dance of him threatening himself and having that evoke my nurturing instinct and concern for his safety and then rushing to his aid. I haven't responded in 36 hours now so I just have to stay strong. I have this fear that he'll just show up on my doorstep like a lost puppy. I spoke to his therapist some time ago to tell her what was going on since he glosses over things with her...or did since he doesn't think he needs therapy. She seemed to brush me off so I did tell her in my snarky manner that an aviatrix who just happens to have an MS in clinical psychology and read up on BPD was not adequate to take care of his therapeutic needs and that maybe she should do it. You're right, his mental state is simply beyond my ability to do anything about.

I have a lot of difficulty processing emotions so it takes me longer to get through something like this that was so overwhelming.