Wow i didn't expect to get so many replies on my thread here, thanks for helping me out and sharing your insights everyone

I've been feeling a lot better on this topic lately, in large part due to explaining my feelings to my gf and letting her know the dark thoughts that were going through my head. We had a long in depth conversation about what i was going through, what i was feeling, and ultimately it helped calm me down a lot. When I'm with her and talk with her I do feel like she's a completely different person from the life she lead before she fell in love with me. I feel much more level now and able to deal with the problem i was facing. I knew i would have to have this conversation with her, but i also felt i might benefit from the experience and advice of other people, in an open and inclusive, non judgemental space.

To clear one thing up - what i meant about her getting touched, in her mind she consented to what was going on at the time, she was young (8 i think) and technically below the age of consent. It doesn't make it any less creepy though, but i can't say she thinks she was, or feels like she was, molested. And the perpetrator was a family friend, no relation, i think like 13 yrs. at the time.