Hello christmas cookie, I am happy to read your reply which brings me to a glad hearts connecting! I am sorry you are going through this when someone experiences a real encounter like as if a hoped comfort from a person turned out to be "sour/fake" at the end leaving the person feeling very shocked to realize that the hoped reassurance from another person would not come true at all. It has happened to me personally and I have had cried about it. My heart hurts for you very much because I have been through similar situation like this before myself just because the another person/family member assumed or judged me and my mental illnesses and my "unaware" behaviors that were done by me (without my true awareness which came later) and they did not forgive me. It really hurts to be "unforgiven" (from certain family members of mine) which causes my heart to grieve forever to my own death. Thank you for trusting me with this. That really means a lot. I am very glad you were able to put some of closure answer for yourself after reading your thread here and decide to rely on your own intuitions/feelings/guidance from loved ones who truly care about you and know you . Same for me, I personally rely on respected persons (who watch me upon my request) on a higher ground to provide some comfort and guidance for my own spiritual journey. How are you feeling about everything now? Reassurance? I believe that you are brave, strong and smart person. I’m in your corner. I'm here for you. Respectfully, SaraC