So glad that you were able to have that conversation!
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she was young (8 i think) and technically below the age of consent
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It was not "technically" below the age of consent. It just
WAS below that age.
Way below.
She may not think or feel that she was violated, but the fact still is that as an eight-year-old child she can in no way be considered to have consented. Regardless of what her eight-year-old mind thought at the time, she was violated.
Also, I agree with I think it was lizardlady who commented that this incident could well have been a significant cause of her later behavior.