I have suffered from depression all my life. This limited me and my outlook with any endeavor that I chose to pursue. Not only did I have the negative thinking about this, but also my failures supported my fears. So I always thought I had the rear of failing. This thinking severely limited me in attempting new challenges, including my professional work,

Awhile ago, I came to an epiphany. I may not be afraid of failing. Fear of failing made allot of sense to me, particularly with my history of depression. Instead, I realized that it is the fear of succeeding. This does not make much sense to me, but I think it is true.

Of course when I am manic, but still productive, I do not have this fear. I would have a singular focus on doing whatever I need to do to make this happen. It may be even fun. Now what is interesting here is that once I succeed, I fall into a substantial depression, even unable to do relatively simple stuff. I have always had to deal with depression as it relates to work. Depression has become synonymous with going to work. Now with this realization of mine, I may have to rethink all of this.

Does this make any sense to anyone here? That I can have the fear of succeeding?