He lives in a nearby town. It's kind of a dangerous area, actually. And he has no means of transportation other than a bicycle that's falling apart, so too far for him to ride unless he uses the bus. I use to go and meet him and a group of friends before things devolved. He was initially a friend of friends, whom he alienated enmasse with similar behavior. Of that group, I was the only woman.

I'm definitely concerned about that too. It's online now. My friends and family told him he was no longer welcome after the ranting outbursts and a bunch of choice names he called us. Every one of that group and my friends and family are saying the same thing.

It probably happened a little late in the game but all through January and into February when he went to jail I was telling him no, I need space, I need a break from you, go back to therapy, you need help from someone other than me. Mid last year when I watched all of our group fall away from him I felt sorry for him and initially had only his side. It got down to just he and I and him telling me that I was the only one who cared, the only one who stuck around, the only one who understood him, his family is a mess, etc. Of course, that pinged my nurturing instinct and I said I was there for him and wanted to help. Nearly overnight it went to him saying he loved me, he wants to get married, I'm going to be his baby factory, etc. I thought it was a joke and didn't say no. I went into my dance around and deflect mode. But, I would go when he needed someone to listen when I was able to.

By about November it had escalated into the control and possession issues where he began making demands about who I saw, what I wore, when I went out. I told him he had no basis for making such demands as I'm in a relationship and that I was an independent woman and could see whom and wear what I wanted. This started the ranting tirades of him filling up my voice mail, sending dozens of emails with screaming or explicit videos of himself and texts with the same. He would also make crazy demands that I use his explicit videos and pics for myself. I saw the emotional dysregulation and the intense fear of abandonment, along with the splitting where I was either an angel or a demon. Whenever I would tell him that I had to go or that a relationship was not a good idea, he went into the threats of self harm and suicide and I backed down and just let the subject pass. Around December was when I went into passive-aggressive mode. It started when I had the opportunity to attend a triathlon training clinic, which was run by a male friend. L went through the roof, accusing me of cheating, leaving him, etc and that he was going to walk in front of a truck if I attended, so I backed down and didn't go. He then made demands of how I dress and that I cut ties with all of my male friends, leave my relationship and take him in and support him. That was when I went total passive-aggressive. I dressed how I wanted, I worked out with guys, I had lunch with guys, etc. I tried every other tactic that I had in my bag. I pointed out that he was in no way an equal which was what I would want. How would he support himself. He would just be a beggar with no money or income. My family already despised him. My friends hated him. I was the worst possible pick for him. I'm so far out of his league that I may as well be on Venus. Nothing worked. Even his former friends who were still my friends told him he was delusional and to just find someone in his own area who was more his speed.

It was probably mid to late January when it dawned on me that he may have a personality disorder and that I was probably feeding into the behavior rather than convincing him to back away. The wall for me was when he would threaten self harm and I would back down and say we'd discuss it later. I'm sure he knew that was my break point to stop saying no to him. Up to then, my friends and I thought he was just plumb loco and that no one gets that bent out of shape over minor things. That was when I pulled out my old psych text books, started researching and that led me here. It was then that I reached out to his former therapist and begged him to go back.

The night he got arrested I got voicemail and texts at 330am to come rescue him and to bail him out and that I had to save him and dump everyone in my life and take him in. When I got it that morning I sent him a text and email wishing him good luck and that I was going to block and delete all of his accounts. I told him I needed to be away from the drama as it was too much for me and that I hoped he would come through it ok. I think that was at the end of January.

I think he got out and his case was dismissed towards the beginning of March and here I am.