Good article! Thanks for sharing it, bpcyclist.

I would call myself a pretty good "forgiver". Not just of others' transgressions, but of my own, as well. I try to remind myself that I am very far from being perfect, and wish for forgiveness from others, so I must be understanding and forgive, as well. The Golden Rule.

Holding grudges and being angry at others (or even situations) is painful for me, so I try not to let the anger linger too long. That doesn't mean one shouldn't be allowed to feel the anger at all. I think we all need and deserve the opportunity to stew about things for a bit or express (release) such anger. If we don't, it's "stuffing anger", and "stuffing anger and resentment" can be even more painful. I often call that "a fist rolling around in the stomach". However, there does come a time when we have to "let it go". I know that sometimes I've literally had to let things go permanently (such as a friendship), but many cases one can just come to a truce of sorts, and "Let bygones be bygones". Either way, it should be a relief. Provide freedom! That's kind to everyone/thing involved.

I like in the article how it emphasized to put offenses in proper perspective. Of course little stuff feels like big stuff, sometimes, but we need to challenge possible distortions. A great tool for doing that is a Cognitive (or Dysfunctional) Thought Record. It's a great CBT tool. Or even if we just create a comparative "How horrible was that?" scale alongside a "pros and cons" list. Very often, over time, the rating will go down and the offense will look a bit different.

I am a true believer that no one (or even almost no thing) is all bad. I believe that offenses of others (and ourselves) generally stem from personal struggles or pain, or having been misled.

I try to eventually look at even the harshest situations as yielding some positive. I forgive my bipolar disorder. Yes, it's not a good thing at all, and it has caused me intense pain, but I have grown in many significant ways, as a result of it. Of course that is mostly because I've allowed that growth. That's a gesture of forgiveness to myself.