I am seriously getting annoyed with my sister in law (husband’s sister). For background: her marriage has been rocky for at least three years, she’s wanted a divorce for a year but can’t find a job (due to a physical disability and an eight year gap in her resume), so she can’t afford to move out. DESPITE WANTING A DIVORCE, she agreed to do the foster to adopt program with her husband because he desperately wanted kids and they couldn’t have them naturally. So, great. I warned her that a foster child might be more challenging due to possible behavior issues, etc (only bc I have worked with foster children that often end up in my behavioral schools that I’ve worked at). She seemed fine with it.

They become licensed foster carers, and in early august a five year old girl was placed with them. Within TWO WEEKS, my SIL was texting me complaining about her behavior, calling her a”spoiled brat”, saying she can’t stand the disrespect (the little girl calls both her and her husband names, etc when she throws tantrums) and that her husband doesn’t back up her parenting style at all. All thing that, in my opinion, they should have worked out BEFORE they decided to have a child placed with them. She just keeps complaining and complaining. I’ve dealt with it since august. She keeps saying she wAnts a divorce but can’t move out and has no way to get income. So I encouraged her to apply for SSDI, her physical disability makes it impossible for her to stand/walk for more than five minutes so she might be able to get it, who knows? She won’t know unless she tries. I know it might take a couple of years with appeals and what not but it’s worth a shot. She shut me down, saying it’s not enough to live on. Yes, this is true, but If she lowered her expectations (ie: agreed to rent a room or some roommates instead of her own apartment) and applied for assistance, she may be able to squeak by. She’s having none of it, but expects me to listen to her moan and complain.

Recently she said she thinks she absolutely does not want to adopt the girl. She’s been cooped up with her for a little over a week due to the quarantine and has complained to me every damn day about it. Like I get it, it’s hard, but a six year old can’t understand why all of a sudden she can’t go anywhere or do anything. Besides, it sucks for everyone, not just her. She was basically fishing around to see if I’d let her live with me. She’s said as much before. She said “I’m going to just live in my car”. I think hoping that I would be like oh no, of course not, come here! But there’s no way I’m letting her live here. How could we support another adult with absolutely no income? Now all of a sudden I’m buying groceries for four, cooking for four, paying utilities for four, etc, plus because of her disability she won’t be able to get down the basement steps to do her laundry so now I’m gonna do that too? No way.

So today she wAs like “omg she won’t stop! She needs constant attention!” I was like “yeah most six year olds do”. She stopped talking. Then later she complained that her mom cut her off from complaining (lol) and said @like this is what I need right now”. I just told her it’s really hard on everyone and directed her to a couple of teletherapy sites I know of. Obviously she can’t keep leaning on us! I’m so fed up with it and apparently her mom is too.

Uuugh sorry for the long walk of text but I just HAD to get it out lol! I know I’m doing exactly what she’s doing (complaining) but I hope it’s not too bad.

Hope everyone is doing ok with this quarantine. I personally am trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me.