What a wonderful thing to work on. A wisdom teacher I respect said we are often most guilty of what we judge in others. I look for the things I am most judgmental of, find a parallel for it in my own behavior, and then work to understand the root of it and forgive myself for it so I can consciously change the pattern of behavior.

My therapist said forgiveness occurs when you no longer seek retribution. I'll have forgiveness nailed when I stop making foolish choices that harm me or my success. I self sabotage in little ways all the time. Sometimes in big ways. When I learn to love and forgive myself appropriately, it should work itself out with others. This is a subtle thing as I do not typically hold grudges, but I judge even when I'm not realizing it.

Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Change is as painful as we make it.