My mother made some pretty unforgivable decisions years ago. It took me a long time to forgive her. I kept holding on to the fact she made no attempt to recognize how incredibly poor and painful her choices were. She showed no remorse.

I finally realized holding onto the pain was holding me back. I kept expecting a specific outcome and I was at a standstill for years. In reality this was all my fault. I gave her my power. I gave away my control of my own life. My happiness is not dependent on her. I can build a fulfilling life without her apologizing. I moved on and mentally and emotionally wished her well.

It has been over 15 years since the events that led to my pain. She and I reconnected about a year ago. She apologized for how she treated me this past weekend. She explained why she did what she did. It didn't fix anything because I did the work to be whole without her apology. I think it helped her though, and I offered her a gracious response. It's funny how we get what we think we need when we no longer need it...

Of course, I have no insight into what happened in your case. Forgiveness is different for everyone and however you approach it is ok.

I find it beautiful that the word 'imperfect' is also 'im perfect'. We are whole just as we are