I have never loved my mother. she was an abuser. she knew better. how ever she too was abused in her life so it is complicated. as she aged I became her sole care provider, which sucked. big time.

how ever, from my mother I learned how to fight, a skill which I use to this day. I also learned to love to read and love history. that's about it.

I am perfectly fine with my feeling's towards her. she was evil and mean. I grew strong in mind, soul and body regardless of what she and father did. in the end I had to totally distance myself from her to begin my healing process. that hurt much but it was the only way. I regret that but there was no choice. again, she knew better, she made choices that were wrong in her upbringing of her children. f

from her I made decisions about my life...that I would never treat children as I was treated, and that I would never bear children. I love kids but none of my own. I will be the best and strongest aunt kids have ever had..or if I see a child abused I will fight for them. but that's it.

just because someone is your mother does not mean you must love them/