I agree with you that bipolar is hard to live with. My daughter was diagnosised with bipolar and until she learned how to control herself and get the right meds she was very difficult to be around.

I believe what you have with the other person is an emotional affair. I understand that an emotional affair is harder to break than a physical affair. She can connect with you mentally where your wife can not. I do not have the answer but I can understand where you would have this connection. I don't know if you still see this other person but it would probably help to keep your distance from her and probably get counseling to deal with this emotional connection.

Good luck as you find what works for you....

Snow