I fear success because I see success as an obligation. If I'm succeeding I have to keep succeeding. I feel like I let people down if the success stops or slows. I take letting people down as a personal failure. So, I get into this cycle of hiding when things aren't going well. Then I reach a breaking point and people look at me like, "wow, where did that come from. She was succeeding beautifully" when in fact I was in deep distress for a very long time. I am by nature a hider. A hider of my feelings, my symptoms, my history, and my failures. I can't let anyone down and I can't let anyone in.