My daughter showed talent when it came to riding ponies and horses. She really enjoyed riding and engaging with them I took her to work with a trainer that owned a small show barn and he began to train her. I kept asking her how things were going and if she liked this trainer and she felt she was ok. Then one day she looked up at me while I was driving her to a lesson and she had fear in her eyes. She said to me, "The trainer told me that I better never think of leaving him and that no other trainer would train me if I did".

That trainer made a BIG MISTAKE when he chose to do that. I looked at my daughter and told her "When ANYONE says that to you then it's time to move on". I told her I would show her how to do just that. I picked a day where I could move her horse home to my own farm with no issues. Then I informed the trainer we were no longer interested in training with him. I did find another trainer quite easily who knew my daughter had talent and also had a talented horse and would gladly welcome a paying client.

After we did that this trainer proceeded to begin a smear campaign of lies, then he would literally stand at the ingate with his hands on his hips and try to imtimidate my daughter who was just a child. He did this in front of other trainers (this is actually a form of child abuse). My daughter was amazing and ignored him and went into each competition jumping courses and winning classes. This really impressed me and many other trainers.

That was a very important lesson my daughter HAD to learn. And when she came across others who insisted she do things THEIR way like that, she doesn't choose to listen to their threats. I remember getting some calls from others who were astonished and said "I can't believe you were so brave like that", sadly they were too afraid to leave this trainer and what saddened me the most was they were parents. What saddened me was the message they sent their young girls by having that fear.

Maybe these other girl's parents were afraid, maybe these other girls had fear too. BUT, at least they got to see someone else choose to be brave and actually end up doing ok, actually more than ok. And NO other trainer treated her that way after that either. My daughter ended up learning from a lot of different trainers instead of just that one who needed to control her. That was MUCH healthier for her because she became quite the horsewoman by working with a variety of trainers that had varying styles of teaching and relating to horses who practiced quality horsemanship skills and respected others who did the same. And they show respect for the opinions of others too.

Some people choose to navigate by needing others to have the same opinions as theirs. Some need to navigate where they don't like it or feel threatened if they feel they don't have the "control" in relationships. They will say things like "I don't like it when you choose to agree with that other person, that you decided to forgive something I find unforgivable, that you did not choose my idea above other's ideas, that you like so and so and I don't etc., etc."

That is when you just walk away and that's in most relationships online or otherwise.