First, after reading all your replies
I want to thank you all of you for your replies. For all of your interventions. Each one counts a lot.
No matter one of them might trigger me, or I disagree with. Each one is worthy because it comes from a person who took the time to read my post and did their very best to understand the topic.
Thus, I have learnt a lot so, I can’t be more grateful.

The article about the triangle is very interesting. Thank you, O.E. I think it explains and clarify a lot many behaviours.
And for me, it makes a lot of sense. I guess, a person traumatised plays one of the roles more often than the others. I don’t know if you can give me an insight in this sense.
In my case, I see the abandoning authority ( pointed in the article as the fourth role) is the one I tend to repeat and I now see where it might come from.
An authoritarian and controller father while the other caretaker, my mother, kept silence. That is what makes me being so much protector and caring and even, to the extreme, kind of a justice warrior for the ones I think as sufferers. Although this last role may be the rescuer.