I've had a very difficult day. My depression was the worst it's been in a long time. I was having a good day until I tried to talk to her. It's my fault. I had the poor reaction. It's my thoughts that ruined my day. But she was the one who triggered it. I haven't coped well today. I made myself sick. I suffered all day because of it. And now I dislike my mother more than ever. I blame her. She's totally insensitive. But still, it's my fault because I let her get to me. So maybe I should be down on myself. Maybe I should hate myself. I'll HATE my mother and I'll HATE myself.

Tomorrow is a new day. What I decide to do will impact how I feel. I will just move forward and try to learn from this.

Part of me wants to write her a letter that I'll never mail. I want to write about how much she hurts me. How she constantly lets me down. How I'm tired of trying and always getting hurt. I don't care that she's incapable of loving anyone. It's no excuse.