Honestly we don’t have tension or conflicts probably because my husband is very easy going and never moody, otherwise we probably would have tension because I am not easy going, I need things certain way. So I’d say it’s his accomplishment, not mine.

Now saying that, I do need a lot of space. I need my time apart, he doesn’t need it but he understands that I do.

Normally it’s easy to accomplish as I have girlfriends I go out with and hobbies outside of home etc

But right now I can’t do much of anything. Things I do to make sure I get my space: read or watch something on my tablet in the other room or in the same room but do my own thing, do household task in the other room or tell my husband to go do XYZ, talk on the phone to people.

We don’t have a large place but we have 2 bedrooms, guest bedroom is used as office/entertainment room when we don’t have out of town guests, so I can go there and close the door or send my husband there. When I need space I just say that I need space. It might be just one hour, not like I need a week.

So when your husband is being gloomy, go to the other room and close the door.

I have a gloomy father so I totally understand it. The only way to deal is to maintain your space. Leave the room. Or put headphones on. Don’t engage. Do your own thing. Let him stew. Ignore him when he is this way. Don’t take it personal. When he snaps, don’t pay attention, leave the room. He can’t snap if you don’t react. Took me and my brother years to develop routine with our father. It works wonders. In fact he mellowed down a lot because we don’t engage and he hasn’t been snapping for a long time now. I don’t know what else one can do dealing with gloomy people. You can’t change them. You can only change your response and reaction to them or completely be done with them, if that’s an option

I do feel terrible for people who lost pay. Thankfully we don’t have loss of income. I am so grateful. That would cause me lots of stress too.

So try what we do with our dad, it truly made a difference in every sense. We can’t neglect him or leave him, that’s not an option, so we had to figure out the way to deal with it.

Try and see if it gets better. Look up “grey rock” technique.