Good to hear from you, Mat. And thanks for asking how I am, too.

First off, as Singer says, they must have evaluated you at the Hospital - they are used to evaluating their patients - and judged that you have a strong enough personality structure to make it outside, even if you continue to have a whole lot of trouble. And the've added a new drug to your Effexor, I see. I hope it helps.

Yes, I am pretty constantly anxious. Everything in life I approach through anxiety and fear. When I have my bad episodes of anx/dep (which is not anywhere near as often, thanks to many years of therapy and life experience) I have often asked to die. Then when I get feeling better, I go "Wait a minute! I didn't mean that!!"

I am really glad to hear that your parents know your situation and that your mother has been so very supportive. That can make SO much difference and I'm so glad for you that she is there for you at this time. That's one of those things we're sometimes almost afraid to hope for but when it happens it is wonderful.

On a more superficial note, I hear that Denmark is paying everyone to stay home for a month because of Corona, and I think that's great. It should help you, too, in your situation. So many of the experts have said that that's the only way to go: short-term, extreme shutdown. Should slow down the virus so we can all eventually get back to "normal" (ha ha).

Much love and hugs. Please do keep us posted as to how you're doing.