Matt it sounds like you have had a rough few days. I remember many hospitalizations that I have had. Each is a bit different. People believe in you, that you can do this. I believe in you. Using grounding techniques helps as well. Distracted helps as well.

In the past week, I have learned that when I do things that I am dreading, the dread falls away and I feel better after I have done the thing I have dreaded. I hope that makes sense to you.

It may be hard now but if you wait you will be in even more suffering then when you started.

Suicidal thoughts don't just happen, for most people. It is a solution to a temporary problem. What is your trigger this time?