I have always thought of myself as an informed consumer of medical treatment. Here is what I have learned about me, and pain lately.
I had a doctor who grew to actively dislike me. I kept feeling that he was not believing me and making light of my issues but my T kept saying no, it was in me. It isn't. I am so glad I left him.
I had complete spinal MRI a few years ago and I listened to what the docs gave me for info and didn't ask questions. Turns out that I have many, or several more issues then I was told. New doc told me and is ordering new MRIs as the ones I have disagree with eachother on cervical spine. The results alone explain so very much of my pain and I just listened and followed along like a sheep. BAAA.
My new doc took me off Neurontin and is building me up on Lyrica and I am in a bit of pain. Everytime I have come off neurontin I feel so much pain. I have nerve compression everywhere. I don't stand up for myself well. I hate conflict. I feel I can't stand up or I get beaten up but the truth is I think I wear a giant V for VICTIM on my forehead and docs sense it and get off on being powerful with me. Not all, just some lacking maturity. I didn't tell new doc that I was worried about coming off Neurontin. I am doing it because I do trust she knows what needs to happen and 30 pounds it gave me.
I am scared of pain now. AFRAID. She asked me why I left old doc and I had to be honest and say cause he treated me like a nut case and she said;"with your MRI'? Yeah, cool.
I need to grow a spine, pardon my puns. I have to stand firm but the reality is the docs have the power and I need them to be on board with me. I need to learn how to do this. I am okay with having some pain now because I trust that it will get better. I need to go back on Lipoic acid.
So, anybody have ideas about how to be more firm? What to do with my feelings about docs and my findings? Thanks.
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