I think you have expressed a deep need to understand how different interactions trigger you and how to manage it better when you see certain things and get triggered. This site exposes people to be able to view all kinds of interactions in different forums. It can take time to get used to that and be able to see comments and reactions that you may not agree with and would address differently. It can be a challenge, yet also be educational too. And the truth is, not everyone "nails" it when addressing a challenged individual. There are also different ways to address a challenged individual. What has to be considered it their cultural influences too.