To give a more elaborate example:

It often happens that I'm assuming that she will have a judgment about me. For instance, she invites me to talk about my feelings about X. Then I talk about those feelings, and I suddenly feel uncomfortable, often numb/zoned out/anxious. Then she asks: 'What is the feeling towards me?' Then I would often say: I'm afraid you will judge me negatively for what I said about X. She: And what is the feeling behind the fear?
She means: how would you feel about me if I would first invite you to talk about X, and subsequently judge you for what you say about it? [I initially never understood this, but we've talked this through, and now I understand].

Problem is: when she asks: 'What is the feeling behind the fear?' I always start making these mental steps: 'OK, so if she invites me to talk, and subsequently judges me for what I say, I would probably feel angry or irritated, because it's not fair.'
But I never manage to just directly feel those feelings of irritation, I always have to very consciously think about the situation and my assumptions about her, to try to re-awaken my feelings towards her. Even then they're still often very vague, plus I think that she means I should go directly to the feeling.

I'm so stuck with this every time.